There was a time when I was in pigtails that birthdays were all about gifts, ice cream and blowing candles. Then came celebrating my birthday with family at the local carnival in town.. Big Bang sa Alabang. That was one of the perks of having your birthday a few days after Christmas. The local carnival was always fun! There were some quiet birthdays, and a few spent with close friends but this year I guess I was extra sentimental. I was surrounded with family, the most delicious triple chocolate cake , a glass of champagne and the cold Tagaytay wind celebrating with me. It was everything I wanted. There’s just so much to be thankful for and I owe it all to God.
I used to spend years looking for something.. In highschool it was about finding self-esteem. I had a thyroid cyst surgery when I was 16. At that age when everything was about looks and appearance, it was a big deal to me. It really affected my confidence but I recall my closest friends and family who went out of their way to cheer me with balloons and flowers. I didn’t re gain my self- esteem until I got into modelling in college.
In college it was about finding fun and “love”. It seemed that love translated to happiness, I went through my share of heart aches but still was too young to learn that happiness is created by YOU alone. I was also finding God, challenging my faith, negotiating with God to get my way. In the end, God touched me, I was convinced and things were settled.
During my modeling years it was about fitting in.. literally into model’s clothes! My friends were naturally skinny and I had to work to be thin. It wasn’t about appearance or insecurities anymore, but more about work. It was about managing time, building principles and starting my interior design business. Everything was high-speed, fun, busy but still lacked purpose.
Then came getting married, finding God’s best for me and dying to myself literally. Being married is an awesome thing when you are with the right one but it reduces you to pieces as well. You grow, you cry, you learn to live with another being. Being married has taught me to share my money, time and self. It taught me to let go of some wishes, get out of my comfort zone and open myself to new things.
I’ve been married for 7 years now and it has been good. Two adorable children and a pleasant life is all because of God and His grace. Having kids is what brought me close to God. I am now responsible for two human beings! God entrusted them to me and it is my duty to teach them to love God and KNOW him in an intimate way.. a way wherein other people will see Christ in them! It used to be all about looking for something.. an endless search but still an emptiness until I grew to really KNOW God and realize that without Him I am nothing. In the end what really matters.. our temporal life on earth or where we will spend eternity?
Psalm 8:4 says “Who am I that you are mindful of me? that you know me and made me yours.” This is exactly how I feel! Who am I that Christ Jesus died on the cross so I can be saved and spend my next life in Heaven? For this reason, I owe my life to Him.
Now it is about seeing the beauty in each new day, savoring each laugh and conversation with my children, and wanting to share God’s blessings with others. It is about teaching my kids to know God and learn good values to equip them in life. I like where I am now. Not looking for anything, not having to find anything and just being satisfied, truly thankful and happy. I am thankful I have a husband who loves me, family that comforts me, two children who love me to bits and wonderful friends that encourage me and pray with me. As I look forward to a New Year I hope to be healthier. I hope to cut back on interior design work so I can work out, blog more and share more with others! What are your New Year’s Resolutions? Wishing you all a great 2015 filled with purpose, joy and blessings!